NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

One of my goals was to be on this show before he retires...I guess I better hurry!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061031/ap_en_tv/tv_bob_barker_retires

A Play

"Something that could have been brought to my attention yesterday"
A Play by: Elizabeth
Starring:

Elizabeth- As Herself

Janet - The evil one (you know who!)

Setting: Two females in an office setting. Janet being aged by bitterness appears to be loud and bossy. Elizabeth avoids all eye contact in fear that Satan might actually look back at her)

Janet: I'm going to let you go through the boxes since you opened them. (whispers to audience: So I can print off puzzles and pretend to be busy, with a sinister laugh)
Elizabeth: (Enters the room to find two boxes full of tests to count out. Great effort is shown removing all the sealed exams. Counts all books. Soft swear words are used. Then TIGHTLY seals up both boxes with large amounts of tape. Strains still recovering knee and back putting the boxes in their secure locations.) Janet, do I open the answer packets to check?
Janet: Yes. You should also check the number on the answer sheet with the number on the book, to make sure they match.
Elizabeth: (A blank expression, lost for words) Oh...
Janet: Did you already seal the boxes (does not give time for Elizabeth to answer) OH I can see you did. Wow you really sealed those up. You have to check the numbers because they have been known to give up the wrong keys.
Elizabeth: I didn't realize...
(Janet cuts Elizabeth off again)
Janet: Dont you usually do that?
Elizabeth: I have never opened this particular test before and counted everything. I wish someone would have told me.
Janet: You are going to have to open the box and check.
(If possible, see if fumes can appear to becoming out of Elizabeth's head. Time passes.)
(Janet re-enters)
Janet: You only need to put a small piece of tape across the answers envelope....Oh i can see you already put a lot on there. But I guess that is okay.
(Elizabeth speaks to audience only) Again, something that you could have told me yesterday...(Fumes should still be coming out of her head.)

The End

The not-so happy couple

So I was looking through the journalstar.com's Celebration section, you know for inspiration and came across this happy couple. (Please dont hate me if this is someone you know!)

I dont want to be mean, but do you seriously think that this was the best choice for the paper. I just see it as a glimpse into the future. Just a thought!

Arthur family conversations over dinner

Me: I am already worried about my next doctors appointment. He said that I need to have x-rays taken again and its going to be a hassle. Im worried about what I am going to wear because you cant wear anything metal...and I am coming from work.

My Dad: Well, maybe you should wear something see-through.

Only in my family...

Didnt think I could beat the "Table incident" did you? well I did....

I finally feel that I have an actual good reason to quit my job. I have once again embarrassed myself but have gone beyond what I think I can handle. Refresh yourself with the "Table Incident" if you have forgotten.
So I had to take the placement exams down to the basement this morning to have them scanned and stopped at the restroom on the way, in the basement. I got up to the counter and waited while all the exams were counted. I kind of felt like my skirt wasn't adjusted right and I played with it for a minute and felt I fixed the problem. I then walked down two long hallways, up the elevator and across the lobby of the Administration building and was like 5 ft from my office when another secretary yelled from her office...Mam, Mam. I turned around and she told me that my shirt was caught in my underwear. I think my face drained all the color out of it and I could pull it out fast enough while trying to run away in shame. I thanked her really fast and hobbled back to my office as fast as my gimpy knee could move.
Now the problem is leaving the office again. Im not sure how many people SAW me but i dont really want to know. I wish I had a brown paper bag to wear over my head. I would have much rather had the table incident again! Please tell me someone else has done this and has lived through the shame? Im also not sure what to say/give the secretary that told me. I see her anytime I leave the office so avoiding her is out. What do you give a person who has done that for you?!!?

get this...

The leg drama continues...dum dum dummmm

So the foot of my injured leg has been swollen lately and finally I guess I got concerned. So I went to Webmd and checked out the prescription that I am on and was reading the warnings. Yeah...all my symptoms were listed under "RED FLAG, RED FLAG!" So I called the doctor and went back and forth all day and I got to okay to stop taking my medication and see what happens. Well, I got another call. I guess the nurse was telling my doctor again and he missed "only one of her feet is swollen" part and now hes concerned. So guess what elizabeth gets to do now...yeah thats right...go to the hospital and have a scan done to check for a blood clot. FOR THE LOVE! I knew it would have been cheaper and a lot easier if they would have just taken the leg off. My parents were very excited about the prospect of me getting a peg leg. They even thought of nicknames for my and "the peg."
So I have to take more time off of work and go and have another scan to see if I'm dying. I loved how the nurse told me about my results. "If they let you go right away, theres probably nothing wrong. If they make you stay, then theres probably a problem." Try explaining that one to your boss. Lets just hope its nothing!!

one crutch at a time

So i am down to one crutch and can walk short distances all by myself. I think I will be able to make it down the isle on Saturday but that will be good enough for me! I finally got my new brace and it has helped so much...i can actually bend my knee which might be important.

Lets see what else do i know...humm. Well, we finally got the tiles laid in the kitchen meaning we have COUNTERTOPS!! its the small victories. Things are coming along in the house and i think Thanksgiving is our goal. Next will be painting and new floors...exciting.

Was paralyzed with fear on Sunday because I was sitting in my bed and something caught my eye on the floor and oh yeah it was a baby mouse. I was frozen with fear!! I called jasmine and i guess she is not a mouse hunter because she kept walking over it and I finally scared her enough with my screaming that she left me alone to die with the mouse. Since it was a baby, it was really slow and stupid. I tried to chase it around the house on my one crutch..trying to gather the courage to put a container on top of it and leave it for my mom. Well it got away and long story short, my mom caught it and my dad set it free that night. I did however go out to my car the following morning, in the dark, and saw the container sitting on my car. I have evil parents.

Counting down the days until theresa wedding!! Its going to be so much fun!