Im back!

Two years since the last entry. Nothing has happened.

okay two years is a little long so I will have to recap in small doses. Heres a more recent tale:

I've been meaning to put up some Christmas lights during my days off this week and there was no better time than waiting until after dark tonight to do so. Not only was it cold and dark but I live in an area over populated by JUDGERS. I'm like a winning lottery ticket to a judger. They seem to lurk around me waiting to cash in. Never a disappointment. So there I am hanging up Christmas lights and trying to duck from people (JUDGERS) as they drive by or walk into the building. I managed to do a pretty good job of not making an ass out of myself until I took a hammer to my thumb. I silently cursed everything holy, and resisted the urge of throwing my PINK hammer three stories down. My luck I would hit someones dog and have to live out my days in a psych ward. Since the hammer was benched, I decided to use my staple gun. So now I'm the girl stapling a sad string of lights up, drawing even more attention.

I get to the point where one would stop and accept the fact its fine if the tail of the string of lights just hangs there. Living on the edge, I decide to hit it with one more staple and actually put the staple thru the cord. I can't the first one to do this but I couldn't decide if I should leave it and risk it bursting into flames and burning down my apartment building. Or, taking down all my hardwork. After taking 5 seconds to weigh the pros and cons I decided to pre-dial 911 on my phone and spend the rest of the evening watching it from the inside of my aparment while its still standing.

done with skirts

Seriously...what is my deal with work and not being able to wear a skirt! I'm not sure if I posted after my latest incident..pretty sure I didnt because it was just too embarrassing.
I went to the ladies room and was walking back to the office and all of a sudden someone was yelling "Mam! Mam!" I really didn't think much of it but she got louder and it seemed obvious then that she might be talking to me. I turned around and it was a secretary from another office I walk by 100 times A DAY. She then attempted to whisper but probably out of breath from having to yell at me, she informed me that part of my skirt was tucked into my underwear in the back. Only girls will understand that this can happen and one should always check before leaving a restroom or going anywhere out in public. I was mortified! I really didn't know what else to say by "thanks." The best part was that my restroom trip was actually on the way to go drop something off in the basement of my building. So I walked from the restroom (in the basement)down two long hall ways then walked back done those two hallways, up the stairs and ACROSS the main lobby of my building (which happens to be the Administration Building, holding of course the higher powers of campus). It wasn't until I have within reach of my office that someone stopped me. I didn't think I could ever look that woman in the face. I don't really remember when it happened and I no longer think of it as I pass her everyday but it was up there with the Table Incident.

That was a longer recap than intended but today ranks up there with that incident. I bought this handkerchief skirt recently because it was ridiculous cheap. I tried it on in the privacy of my apartment and really couldn't figure out how to wear it because it has all different lengths and such and I don't internet at my place so I couldn't GOOGLE it like I have been doing for the past half-hour. But, for some reason today I decided to wear it even though I wasnt 100% sure that I was wearing it correctly. I have been sitting at my desk all morning thinking it cant be right but when I stand up its Okay...somewhat? Well I just thought I would turn it 90 degrees and I think thats the way it was always supposed to be. So I have been walking around all morning with my skirt on sideways pretty much, with the shortest length of fabric in front. I bet the people in my building wonder if I own a mirror or that my second job is working the corner! Still not positive that I am wearing it right but I will just rock it until someone tells me otherwise.

wrong number

Getting used to the apartment. I am really loving the space and have no major complaints. I recently purchased a couch and that has been the biggest improvement. I haven't caved in and got cable yet so I only have my VHS tapes to keep me company. For some reason I could not get my DVD player to work so I have been busting out some of the classics on tape. I forgot how much I love Circle of Friends, Basketball and Titanic! Well last night something clicked in my brain and I was able to get my DVD player to work. I know I can survive now because I can watch the first two seasons of 'The Office' I own on DVD!
My latest adventure with apartment living has been contacting the office about a couple of things that needed to be fixed in my apartment. For one I have a mop bucket residing inside my fridge to catch the water from whatever is leaking. I wrote a note and attached it to my check-in list and had never heard from the maintenance. I thought this isn't good because I guess I will never be able to get things fixed. Well I then started calling the office on my breaks and such, only because I leave in the morning well before they open and get home way after the sun has set. The messages I left were in great detail and was again saddened by living somewhere with poor service. Well the other day I thought I would check the number. I had been just using the number I had programmed into my cell phone...no need to question right? WRONG. Yeah, Im pretty sure I have been calling someones house and leaving messages about how my fridge leaks from the inside and how my sink keeps backing up since the garbage disposal is not functioning. I'm really glad I provided the answering machine with way more information needed to have management come fix my apartment. Like full name, apartment number, likes/dislikes/turn-offs, full physical description, blood type, where i hide the key, etc. I really hope no one saves them and posts them on the internet or something like that. I'm sure someone is having a good laugh. Lesson learned: Don't trust a cell phone...they are smarter than we think!

new uses for a turkey baster

I have been trying to leave for work earlier than normal this week since traffic is at an all time high of sucky-ness. I took an extra five minutes, laying in bed this morning, to worry about all the crap I have to get in next two days before moving. Of course then the dog had to be let out....which i loathe because i always end of standing outside in my bathrobe trying to see a black dog in darkness. While she was out doing her thing i thought I would throw my pants in the dryer to get most of the lint off of them (very good trick FYI). I stepped into the laundry room and one of my feet slid away from my body and I grabbed unto the dryer in fear of falling. My hand went into a pool of liquid. I flipped on the light and found that the Tide bottle had fallen from the shelf and spilled EVERYWHERE. Of course it had to be the super size bottle of Tide. I was at a loss of what to do because:
1. I had to go to the bathroom
2. the dog was still outside
3. i was already running late
4. not sure i should run the dryer when the top has a lake of Tide on it.
I took care of my business, let the dog in, and riffled through the kitchen for some device to try and clean it up in a hurry. I first grabbed a pampered chef spatula but that was a no go. My next choice was a turkey baster. Worked like a charm. So i stood there for a good ten minutes squeezing up Tide. I finally got down to a point where it was just a small layer and had to take two towels to it for it to come off. I tackled the floor and stepped on piles of Tide filled clothes that were laying in front of the dryer. I had to give up for the sake of not being able to beam myself to work. I hopped in the shower and almost had a close call with death again from falling. That stuff sticks to skin like no other. I'm pretty sure my hair was washed with Tide and I am going to have a permanent layer on the bottoms of my feet. I cant wait to get home and tackle the rest of it.
Lesson learned...make sure the cap is securely on before shelfing!

THIS IS WHY THEME PARKS ARE NO ME GUSTA!!

My favorite parts are highlighted!(taken from cnn.com)

Girl's feet severed on ride at Six Flags in Kentucky

(CNN) -- A girl's feet were cut off Thursday when a free-fall thrill ride malfunctioned at the Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom Amusement Park in Louisville, Kentucky, police said.

A cord wrapped around the 16-year-old's feet and severed them at her ankles while she was on the "Superman Tower of Power," a police dispatcher said. The girl was taken to a local hospital.

An unidentified witness told CNN affiliate WLKY she saw a cable on the ride snap.

"The people on the ride just came and hit the ground," she said. "When I got up there, the lady she was just sitting there, and she didn't have no legs. ... And she was just there, calm, probably in shock from everything."

"That could have been all of us -- riding that ride," witness Whitney Sandfer told CNN affiliate WDRB/WMYO.

The incident took place shortly before 5 p.m. ET, according to Six Flags spokeswoman Wendy Goldberg. The park remained open, but the ride in question was shut down and will remain so until the full investigation is complete, Goldberg said.

During the ride, passengers are lifted to 177 feet, suspended momentarily and then dropped, according to the park's Web site.

Passengers drop 154 feet at 54 mph, stopping "just 20 terrifying feet above the pavement," it adds.

"I seen the car go up. Then, like, the cable broke, I heard -- pwchh -- and I heard a lot of people screaming," Chris Stinnett, who was at a ride next to the Superman Tower of Power, told WDRB/WMYO.

"The cable went under the car -- and I seen it pull up and hit a lot of people -- and I seen them bring their legs up," Stinnett said.

The ride was introduced in 1995.

two trees died for nothing

Yesterday-
"Can't we print out that stuff and put it in the binder."
"Well there is over 200 pages. I think thats why they started having people go online."
"Well print out just that section and I will put it in the book so we can look at it."

Today-
"Does this test get a response envelope?"
"I'm not sure. You can look at the instructions I printed out yesterday."
"Well why don't you go online real quick and look it up."

Interesting finds

Wasting time on craigslist and found some interesting ads:

I'm a 25 y/o professional guy who works nights and weekends. I like to party but don't rage every night. 420 friendly.

• "don't rage every night but its cool to smoke pot!
  

The room you would stay in is 12 x 8, so you'd need a single bed, but we'd give you perks to make up for it! (For example: no mowing, we'll bake you a cake, etc.)

• I like how in exchange for a crappy room they will bake you a cake, seems fair?

anyone in the omaha, cbluffs area with a room that is pretty cheap for someone who needs a space for a few months - here for family medical problems and need some ALONE SPACE at a cheap and reasonable price - can cook clean paint etc to help out -

let me know and i'd prefer someone who does not have 4 dogs and 9 cats - THANKS for your attention and get back to me - VERY VERY laidback guy from TEXXX in this area for a few months ! p.s. i am a gay buddy if that matters

• Favorite parts are in orange!